You Are Not Alone

Times are tough, and help is all around

I had another newsletter all lined up, but halted publication to send this one instead. A heavy topic this week, but important to address in our industry.

Let’s support each other.

[And if you’re in a serious mental health emergency, call 988 or other emergency services. This is nothing to f*ck around with.]

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As many of you may have heard, Los Angeles developer Artem Templer took his own life yesterday, with his financial distress related to projects likely being the major contributor.

I posted on Twitter/X last night that "nothing is more important than you."

Financial distress doesn't matter. "Failure" doesn't matter. Houses and cars and "assets" don't matter. YOU matter. *You* can't be replaced. All that other stuff can be. *You* are more important than all those things combined. I know your spouse, your kids, your friends, your family, your colleagues agree with me. You're the only *you* we've got.

Relatedly, in other words, there is more to your story than “failure:”

The building industry is full of risk. Even in the boom times, developers are financially ruined, GCs wiped out, architecture offices are shuttered, brokers close up shop, people leave the industry entirely.

As an industry, we thrive on the risk of taking on projects, of building things in physical space, of running businesses. We are problem solvers. We like building stuff - buildings, communities, cities, businesses, teams, processes, you name it.

The paradox of problem solvers is that we find opportunity both in the boom times and in the tough times. In tough times, we can actually thrive on the challenge to our creativity and resilience, the constant need to find a way forward, no matter what. 

The tough times take their toll, though. Even the most creative, hard-working problem solvers [and by many accounts, that describes Artem] can despair, and can feel like there are no more options. Or that they're just too tired. They've done this before, in the GFC or the S+L or the Dotcom bust. Or that they stepped too far out on a limb, and there's just no way back to safety. Or that they are a burden on their loved ones because of the situation they’re in.

Many of us have experienced loss from suicide up close before, or have been in very bleak places ourselves. Even when you think you know a person, you don’t know their full story. Some are sharing those stories now on Twitter, some are quietly reliving their darkest times privately. All are thinking about what really matters in life.

There is a real burden to building and working in public, with an audience, like Artem did and many others do on social media. Let's use our little corner of that world to speak frankly about troubles [as you are able/willing to], and find those who we can connect with and rely on, and learn from.

And let’s speak frankly about risk: about personal guarantees on loans, about making payroll for a large team, about liability, about vetting business partners, clients, and GPs, about contracts and insurance and getting proper surveys and about hiring good quality consultants. There’s no need for dumb risk…and those who’ve been around longer can help the new folks who’ve never experienced a downturn by continuing to share their knowledge on these topics.

To wrap it up…

There is nothing to be ashamed of. If you've been around longer than a few minutes in business, you know firsthand: we have all failed, in many small and large ways. We have all made mistakes, we have all lost money, we have all had regrets, we have all had to rebuild. You are not alone.

If you're struggling, don't wait til it's an emergency. Be sure you’ve got professionals [therapist, etc] in your court who can help you develop tools to get you through. Reach out. Go read the Tweets - 100s of them - from people offering support, access to DMs, a phone call. Find your people you can speak frankly to and strategize with, who share your values in business and in life - and keep them close. And be that support for others, as you are able.

Holding all of our industry in prayer today.

- Marilyn