41 Things I've Learned in 41 Years
A list beyond the building industry...
Today is Teddy Roosevelt’s birthday, and also mine…so in our honor, I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learned.
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1. Sit at the bar in a nice restaurant. The service will be more personal.
2. Many, many things that people do are motivated by fear.
3. The "best" isn't always the most expensive, the most expensive isn't always the best.
4. People are a lot more complicated than political affiliation, red/blue, rural/urban, who they voted for.
5. Cultivate “il dolce far niente” – the sweetness of doing nothing.
6. Do not ever, ever, ever assume, or comment on, when someone doesn't have kids.
7. From my Nan: you don't have to be rich or fancy to appreciate and enjoy art, literature, music, opera, etc.
8. It is worth understanding history: of your family, hometown, country, countries you've never been to. It will explain so much about the world, no matter what you learn.
9. Be the kind of person who others can rely on 100%...but respect your own boundaries and needs.
10. Stand up to bullies.
11. Movies/books are no substitute for traveling and visiting places in real life.
12. Smells matter.
13. It's worth doing some things just because it'll make a good story later.
14. It's worth learning how to tell a good story.
15. It's worth learning how to be a good audience when someone is telling a story.
16. Don't assume that someone's life experience, family, etc resembles yours at all.
17. Sex is awesome. Everyone should probably be having more of it.
18. Be on time. Be observant.
19. Once a year, read the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Gettysburg Address, and the I Have a Dream speech.
20. Call your friends out of the blue. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes. Tell them you were thinking about them in that moment.
21. Find music you love, play it at full volume.
22. Find art that thrills your soul. Even if you think you don’t “like art,” you do…find some…you’ll know it when you see it.
23. Wear what you want, but know how to dress well and appropriately for any occasion.
24. Explore things you're curious about. Keep a journal. Doodle. Record the world around you, and your inner self.
25. Explore something a loved one is curious about (especially a kid), so you can share in their interest.
26. If you choose to curse and swear, do it creatively.
27. Listen when your heart is telling you something.
28. Listen when your gut is telling you something.
29. Sometimes "no" should be considered a temporary obstacle. Sometimes it's absolute, and you need to move on.
30. Working hard is never a bad idea. Working "too hard" is a relative concept.
31. Families come in many, many forms.
32. If you're stuck, go for a walk outside. If you're feeling angry/frustrated, have a glass of water.
33. Find a way to get onstage and perform something. Nothing beats that high, that rush.
34. Buildings have personalities - some are cooperative, some are ornery. Like people, it's often hard to tell at the outset, so you just have to get to know them.
35. Saying please and thank you matters. Saying it in the language of the person you’re talking to is golden.
36. We have no idea what others are going through. No one is obligated to reveal/explain anything. If you're going through something, it's fine to say "it's a rough time, I'm doing my best, thanks for your patience." But taking advantage of people's empathy is some low sh!t…don’t be a victim. You’re strong.
37. It is worth learning: how to dance, speak another language, cook, bake, sew, repair things, change a tire, be a good host, talk with children, make a bed properly, shoot a gun, care for a garden, read a map, pick up something heavy, build and manage a fire, talk to anyone, play a sport, travel by train, properly tie a bowtie, give great hugs.
38. Time heals, but it also calcifies.
39. It is worth exploring religion and/or spirituality.
40. It is worth learning what makes your body happy: waking up early or staying up late, what you eat, how you exercise. People who encourage you away from these habits are not good friends.
41. Love matters more than anything else. Anything.
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